This is just too good not to share. Woman writes to my boss, following his email telling her some work has been completed:
-----Original Message----- From: ****** Sent: 28 July 2004 13:26 To: ******* Subject: RE: Workplan Application - New User Type - Work Completed Hi ******, How can this be closed without a finance form being produced? Regards, *******
Oh I love it. She can't understand how the work could have been completed without the correct form having been filled in. Dear, dear, dear, dear me.
My dream response:
Dear ******, It may surprise you to learn that work sometimes actually gets done in this organisation. By work, I mean of course, something vaguely constructive, rather than completing reams and reams of red tape and process forms. In case you hadn't realised, it is the work that drives the forms, not the other way round. Therefore any piece of work can be completed without having filled in a finance form. Its really very easy. I recieve the request. Then I do the work. Thats it. And in one easy step some work has been completed without a finance form ever having had a look in. It may also surprise you to learn that some of us here consider actually doing the work more important than filling in your BULLSHIT forms that don't even work properly. Now I realise that you have to dick around and make it look like the finance form is the all-important, singing, dancing form of olympic-level greatness, else someone somewhere will work out that your job is completely pointless and kick you out of the door faster than greased weasel shit off a shovel. However, please understand that some of us do not wish to play your ridiculous and pointless games, and thus sometimes we JUST DO THE WORK. Without ever filling in a finance form. I realise this may give you sleepless nights, but it is true. And you know what? By doing this, we're achieving more than your pathatic, useless existence within this company is ever going to. In summation, please fuck off Very Best Regards Adam
